NOTE: This was originally written as an emotional release page. DO NOT read if you are offended by swear words/strong language. Don't say I didn't warn you. ;)
Fear. It's the most primal, most dreaded emotion of all. Fear is powerful, and it can get you to stop doing the most important things in life. It grips tightly onto your heart and cuts off the circulation so that even loving becomes a struggle.
I've had a few times in my life when I've been literally frozen with fear. Fear is strong. I mean, f***ing strong. When you can't even command your arms and legs to move - you are paralyzed - because of a thought in your head! What the f***? What the actual f***?
Fear is the dark demon of all emotions. All the emotions spring from this dark and sinister creature - at least all the hard ones. We are afraid of death. Death is the ultimate fear. And not just physical death. It makes sense to be afraid to jump off a cliff because A) it will hurt like hell, and B) we'll f***ing die. But there's also death of the ego. We might be afraid of loving someone and being hurt or rejected by them - that's like jumping off a cliff to the ego. We might fear being publicly embarrassed or shamed - to the ego, the equivalent of having our guts splattered all over the rocks below. We fear being insignificant, that nothing we do will ever f***ing matter. No one caring that we ever existed - for ego, the twisted, bloody remains of what we thought life was.
We fear being alone, being uncomfortable, being wrong, being judged, and being eaten by a bear. Fear exists in our body to protect us, but it exists in the mind to strengthen us. Fear that is ego based is a big, giant asshole. A bully in big clodhopper boots that holds its bigass foot on your head and presses your face into the mud, taunting you, telling you how weak you are, and telling you to get up while still holding you down with brute force.
So here's what you do with that asshole. Kick him in the nuts. Kick him so hard that he doubles over in pain and stumbles away to puke in the bushes. Then get up and run like hell. Don't turn around to see if he's following you. Don't try to walk away with your dignity. Just run. Get the f*** away from that asshole motherf***er. You know at some point he's going to catch up to you again, put his big ugly boot on your head again, and try to hold you down. So you gotta fight dirty.
You have to beat Fear at his own game. You gotta be ready and waiting for him in the bushes with a 2x4 board with nails sticking out of it, and when he comes looking for you, whack him in the head. You don't have to take that shit anymore. Just know that f***er is going to come for you, and you're going to be ready. This is combat. This is war, and it's bloody and messy and it stinks.
You gotta get up every day, put on your big girl panties, and kick the motherloving shit out of Fear. He is your worst enemy. He is evil, and he'll do whatever he can to stop your beautiful life from unfolding. It's up to you to be ready, prepared, and willing to kick that f***er in the nuts and run like hell in the other direction. He'll keep coming for you, again and again and again. But the only way he wins is if you stop fighting.